REDUCE YOUR STRESS WITH SMALL HITS OF JOY

Kiran has a gorgeous collection of vintage tea towels. Some she picked up at flea markets, but most were handed down from her grandmother. She covets these soft, decorative treasures. So I was a little horrified to see her grab one to mop up some spilled salsa.

I don’t have many coveted items in my house because I like to pretend I’m a minimalist, but I do have my great-grandmother’s beautiful glass serving bowl. It’s the only thing I have of hers, so I guard it carefully. It sits in the cabinet next to the other serving dishes and has made a Thanksgiving appearance once in the 18 years I’ve owned it. If it broke, I would be crushed.

But once I saw my friend using her precious collection for her everyday needs, I understood her logic. If you use your most treasured items rather than safely store them away, you get daily doses of joy, and those little jolts of joy can reduce your stress. She explained that seeing the towels reminds her of her family and of the things she loves. If she kept them tucked safely in a drawer, they might last longer, but they also wouldn’t be making her happy.

I now better understand the meaning behind the saying, “Keep only what’s useful or what you love.” Even better when they’re the same.

Several years ago, I was tooling around Safeway and wound up in their hodgepodge aisle (you know the one: shelves crammed with 4th of July paper plates, squirt guns, and neon beach chairs). These sweet little salad plates caught my eye—pale blue butterflies amongst soft yellow flowers. I have no idea what came over me, but I grabbed four of them and plopped them in my cart. I can promise you, I have never purchased dinnerware from a grocery store before, and the memory still feels odd. But here’s the bizarre thing. They’re my favorite plates.

Before my conversation with Kiran, I hid these little gems on the highest shelf I could reach and only took them down for appetizers in the event we had company (translation: the plates were dust collectors). Now that I know the power of using your treasures daily, I decided to start using my butterfly plates. Like the tea towels, I can’t replace them, so I made them “mama’s plates.”

Every day, I use them for my lunch. And just as Kiran said, I get a little charge every time I see one. A charge that wouldn’t happen if I left them in the cabinet.

What else do we tuck away for fear of losing or breaking?

What restrictions are you placing on bedspreads, photo albums, teacups, or handmade afghans?

Maybe you’re like me and prefer only to keep the things you love, so you don’t have a lot of baubles and bits floating around your closet bursting to bring you joy. If that’s the case, all isn’t lost. You can find other small ways to give yourself a lift throughout the day.

You might be surprised at how small changes can reduce parenting stress. Take a few minutes to jot down a shortlist of what brings joy. Simple or grand. Gardenia-scented candles, homemade bread, or that soft (ridiculously expensive) Lululemon sweatshirt? What about old books, childhood movies, or music your grandpa used to listen to?

Harry Potter is a favorite in our home, but not because my kids hound me to watch the movies or listen to the audiobook in the car. It’s because it reminds me of the years I spent reading the books. They calm me. So anything HP-related quickly became one of my many bits of magic I sprinkle on my days.

Once you get started on your list, it’s hard to stop. You realize there are so many marvelous ways to brighten your chaotic day that might seem a little too easy. I found that changing my alarm setting made a difference. How can getting up half an hour early to spend some time in solitude help me be happier? Once my kids wake up, mayhem kicks in, and my calm state of mind is challenged.

Independently, these things don’t seem very powerful. I mean, come on… a plate can raising my happiness level? Really?

Yes, a little.

But the benefit comes from combined moments of happiness. Small pleasures add up and help combat the mayhem in your days—incremental happiness.

Surround yourself with things that give you a lift. I promise you that if you’re feeling better about yourself, you’ll be a better mom when your 5 and 8-year-olds decide it’s time to paint the dining room table because “it’s bigger than the paper.”

P.S. If you’re interested in learning more about finding your magic and managing your mayhem, check out my self-guided class designed to help you live a little lighter.