NO-vember: reclaim your time & sanity
HOW TO MAKE THE MOST OF NO-VEMBER CHALLENGE
In 2019, Thrive Global challenged us to NO-vember. For 30 days, say “NO” to those things that don’t serve you.
Over the past few years, the “saying no” challenge has grown in popularity, and I’d like to help spread the message… but with a twist.
Let's level up the challenge and get very specific with when and how we will say no.
For the rest of this month to practice saying no to your kids and husband/partner.
WHY DO WE NEED TO GET SPECIFIC?
Unwittingly, moms do far more than we need to for our families. To keep everyone moving forward, we pick up the slack.
We make the meals, do the shopping, fold the laundry, and book appointments. Often what we do can be done by someone else. They either don’t know how to do it or have never been asked.
There is far too much invisible work and we need to spread it out amongst those who benefit.
GOT IT, BUT HOW WILL WE SAY NO?
❶ Make a list of 5-10 things you do for other people—tasks you otherwise wouldn’t do or would do at a different time (when YOU need them done).
❷ Choose 3 tasks to delegate (say no to) and hold a family meeting to let them know the new plan. Focus on life skills: washing dishes, food prep, sweeping the floors… I suggest not telling them about the challenge. Keep that part to yourself (see below)
❸ Set them up for success. For example, if you currently do your 10-year-olds laundry, take this month to show them how to do it for themselves. (read Combatting Invisible Work)
For the rest of the month, retrain your family and begin to get more clear about your time and energy boundaries.
SOUNDS DOABLE, BUT THEN WHAT?
When December hits, hold another family meeting to discuss what went well and what didn’t—same as always, encourage the effort and figure out how everyone can work together to make the new plan more effective.
Keep up the delegation plan through December, and when the new year comes, you can celebrate the small changes and set a new goal for 2022.
Retaining how your family works together will take time and consistency. Keep the communication clear and strong with monthly check-ins and assessments.
Repeatedly remind yourself of the long game. Every task comes at a cost: your mental management and physical execution. When you spread out the ownership, you get your time back, and they gain life skills while learning about personal responsibility. (so much winning!)
Much love to you!
Lots of supportive content below! 👇🏼
1— TAKE UP SPACE:
We’ve ALL been conditioned to expect women & girls to accommodate. The result is generation after generation of women saying yes when they want to say no. Of backing down when we want to stand up.
But here’s some fantastic news! You can train yourself to take up space with grace and find the balance between aggressive and assertive. Read more HERE.
2— SET BOUNDARIES:
Boundaries are invisible contracts we either tacitly or implicitly content to. From physical to mental to emotional, understanding what your limits are is essential.
I HIGHLY recommend Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab. It’s easy to read, serves as a reference guide, and will help you take ownership of how you feel and what you allow from others. (affiliate link)
3— ARE YOU AN ACCIDENTAL MARTYR?
Break Bad Habits, Raise Strong Daughters & Compassionate Sons
