My and my giant margarita circa 1996
First things first,
I'm hilarious
And before I had kids (or a husband), I regularly went to the gym, ate healthy meals, and binged on Buffy the Vampire Slayer reruns before binging was a thing. I may have been alone in my tiny apartment in Menlo Park, CA, but I loved every minute of freedom.
Fast forward 7 years and my life was unrecognizable. I was unrecognizable. Now I was a homeowner with an exceptionally busy husband, two seriously needy kids (how dare they!), and giant dogs that couldn’t clean up their own giant poop.
The “what my life will be like when I grow up” movie I had played in my head since childhood didn’t include putting my needs on hold for 18 years, while I built everyone else up.
Resentment grew within the isolation and slowly turned to anger. I saw myself becoming a person I never in a zillion year imagined. I snapped at my husband. Yelled at my kids. Gained unwanted weight. Had a series of horrid haircuts and developed a staggeringly dull “I don’t give a crap” sense of fashion.
But this was good. The guilt and embarrassment had gotten so bad I finally had to confront who I had become: the stereotypical bitter housewife (which floored me!).
I longed for the freedom to choose how my day went. But more importantly, I missed my old self.
The one who laughed (a lot) and actually played.
The vibrant, energetic person who enjoyed her days and loved her friends and family.
It felt like do or die. Dramatic? Probably.
Truthful? Absolutely.
I got so tired of the guilt and self-pity, I forced myself to make a change.
I took responsibility for my situation and began to make choices that reflected who I am today and who I want to be in the future.
Over the last 14 years, I've relentlessly sought fulfillment beyond motherhood. Today, I feel whole and more confident than I ever have (even before kids!).
I've finally connected with who I am and know where I'm going.
But here’s where it gets interesting…
Doing the self-discovery work has inadvertently helped prepare me for an empty nest.
The transition to a life without kids under one roof will still be rough, but because I’ve done the self-discovery and developed supportive tools, I know it will be more manageable.
Today I have the emotional freedom to be with my kids more fully while they’re still within hugging distance.
I did the hard work of undoing years of settling for less.
If there is one thing you take away from my story, it’s that we moms, we women, need to take ownership of our circumstances. It will be the hardest part of your journey, but learning how to be truly honest with yourself and the ones around you is the only way forward.
Communication, perseverance, and a dizzying dedication to self are how you’re going to cement your legacy and live a more fulfilled life.
My coaching, online trainings, and articles are the culmination of my journey.
You have your best years ahead of you.
Don’t you dare settle for mediocre.
Weird & random things I’m sure you’re just dying to know about me…
Dogs. Dogs. Dogs. (And more dogs.)
My guy is my favorite human. He laughs at my jokes, likes to cook, and sings me Blink 182 songs when I've had a rough day.
Édith Piaf for work and Eminem for workouts.
Diagnosed as an adult with ADHD, Atomic Habits has become my bible and my garage gym my church.
Parallel parking is my nemesis.
I grew up in a ruthlessly funny, take-no-prisoners family (it’s one of the greatest gifts).
A few of my go-to life balance tools…
Wake up before everyone else. (ahhh... the bliss of a quiet home!)
A solid morning routine that includes meditation (this is critical to my mental health and productivity later in the day)
Morning journal. (10 minutes to plot and plan my day.)
Philz coffee. (it's my reward for staying on task!)
White-scented soy candles. (in.every.single.room.)
Green protein shakes. (I feel lost without them.)
Exercise. (a non-negotiable. My days are infinitely better when I work out!)
