Dressing For Family Photos

HOW TO DODGE THE PINTEREST BULLET

Our Christmas cards arrived yesterday, and while I’m inching toward my 50th birthday, I’m proud of the pictures. This year, I think I found the key to a successful photoshoot (for me, at least; my kids may have a differing opinion).

Receiving our cards reminded me of a near-debacle photo session about five years ago.

It was 9:30 in the morning and, instead of heading downtown to make last-minute purchases for our family photo session the next day, I stumbled and broke my foot.

Panic set in.

This was not at all how I planned on things unfolding. I had been primping, purchasing, and preparing for a solid two weeks. Today was my day to finalize our outfits and put the finishing touches on our home. And since our photographer was on a plane flying in from Canada, there was no turning back.

What was I going to do?

Oh yes. I know. Why not have a mini-breakdown complete with hyperventilation and uncontrollable sobbing? Because let’s face it, even with two good feet, I could barely handle the pressure of perfection for the family photoshoot. This was the final push off the edge of sanity (which I had been inching toward for the past three weeks).

After about 10 minutes of crying and cursing, I finally exhaled and focused. It was time to do what I do best, what moms do best: change gears, give myself a pep talk, and develop a new plan.

I’m a mom of two crazy kids, a giant Destructo Ridgeback puppy, and a senile cat. I can solve this problem.

The first thing I did went against every mama bone in my body, but it had to be done: I asked for help.

And, to my mild shock, friends happily came to my rescue. Some came and decluttered my home so the housecleaner could work her magic, while others whisked off my kids for an impromptu playdate, allowing me to rest before our family photos (I really like my friends).

With the housecleaning and kids out of the way, I could now tackle the one thing I feared the most: clothing.

Let’s face it, clothing, in general, can be a real PITA (that’s a blog post in itself!), but getting ready for family photos using Pinterest makes me want to crawl into a cave. The pinned photos are overwhelmingly “perfect,” with families magically looking like they walked off the pages of a Boden catalog.

After a short time sifting through impossible clothing scenarios, I decided to pass on the whole thing. Pinterest perfection isn’t for me. I don’t want to be like everyone else. I want variety. I want authenticity.

I want us to be who we are, who we’re meant to be. To feel like we’re taking the road, we want to be on, not the one someone else said we should take.

If you don’t follow your own family’s fashion, the first thing you’ll recall about the family picture won’t be about how goofy and wild your daughter is, but rather about how stressful creating it was.

You’ll remember how difficult it was to find the “perfect” shade of fuchsia tights your daughter tore in 38 seconds flat and how uncomfortable your husband looked in the “perfect” navy button-down sweater you insisted he wears.

I promise you that no matter how well-coiffed and JCrew-fashioned your family looks, you will remember the pressure and stress leading up to that moment more than anything else about the picture.

And this goes for every single aspect of your life…Perfection is relative.

You cannot compare yourself to anyone else (especially those on the digital pages of Pinterest).

So what if you wear your yoga pants hours after your Barre class lets out? Or if you need to use the iPad as a distraction for your kids so you can get some much-needed quiet time? Or if your laundry pile is as tall as a teenager, no matter what time of day or week someone pops in for a quick hello?

The mess and magic are what make you, you. Own it. Because the person who lives their life the way they want (and need) is drastically more interesting to be around than the person who is continually posting deceptively beautiful photos on Instagram or unbelievably wondrous updates on Facebook.

This isn’t a contest. And if it is, I pass. I’d rather have slightly messy kids and an untended garden than spend my time trying to make my life progress any other way than the way it’s naturally unfolding.

My family is perfect for me because of my daughter’s ripped leggings, my son’s wild red hair that is perpetually in need of a trim, and my “can’t remember when I washed my hair last” ponytail… not despite it.

It’s who we are. And I wouldn't change a thing.

So as we ease out of this fall-fashion-photo-shoot season, remember what worked and what didn’t.

① Did you feel like you? Did you feel panicked? Did you question your clothing choices? Or worse… your parenting choices? And, most important, how did you feel about the pictures once you got them back?

② Burn these feelings onto your brain. And next year, do everything you can to avoid the uncomfortable or dishonest.

③ Take it one step further: think about how you want to feel when you look at photos of your children 10, 20, or 30 years from now (whether they’re Instagram snaps or pro photos). How do you want those pictures to settle into your heart?

That’s where the magic lies, my friends. And it’s not just true for your yearly family pictures. This is how we need to live, every single dingle day.

Let’s all accept our crazy, chaotic lives and realize the beauty in a mismatched family photo (and life).

P.S. The upside to breaking your foot? You have a wonderful reason to sit on your butt and do nothing.

P.P.S. My photography is limited to a handful of family sessions to free me up to do coaching and photograph moms with tweens and teens. You. Are. Seen. Find out more HERE.