What if We Needed to Hit Rock Bottom First?
HOW WE CAN SAVE OUR SANITY
Back in college, I had an alcoholic boyfriend.
It was like dating Fun Bobby from Friends. People loved him. And why not? He was always up for doing crazy things and was honestly hilarious.
At the time, I didn’t realize it was the alcohol. But after we moved in together, I began to see shades of a person I wasn’t fond of.
Slowly, over the next year or so, his behavior while drinking became less fun and more emotionally abusive. He would make fun of me in front of his friends or scream at me for not wanting to go out drinking.
I knew we shouldn’t be together. But I stayed. I told myself things would change. That he’d grow out of it. That staying in a mediocre relationship was better than finding another apartment and hitting the dating scene again.
But, I had a breaking point.
Naturally, I don’t have a photo of Fun Bobby, but here’s a pic of me and my best girl, Andrea, circa 1994. ✨
On a Thursday afternoon, a group of us met up for happy hour. With my drink in hand, I went to sit down next to him and before I knew what was happening, I was sprawled out on the sticky bar floor.
My “boyfriend” had pulled my chair out from under me.
The gasps at the table were met with his wild laughter.
I was utterly humiliated, and before I even picked myself up, I knew it was over. That was it.
We can tolerate a lot of discomfort or pain, but at some point, we reach our threshold.
And I think that’s where we are today as a country and world.
What if we weren’t paying attention or doing enough to protect, understand, and love one another, and God (the Universe, Mother Nature…) said, Okay, maybe this will open your eyes and intentionally cranked up the insanity?
Maybe we needed someone to pull the chair out from under us?
I know I’m not the only woman who feels intense stress and pressure. The vast majority of my friends are struggling to regulate themselves. Our nervous systems are overloaded.
How can they not be?
I’ve been in a steady state of fury and worry for the past week, and while I know the overwhelm is by design (keep them too busy to focus!), my anxiety is buying into it.
So, I took a step back to reflect. How can we protect our sanity and make a difference?
Here’s what I came up with (maybe it’ll help you, too):
Taking a hiatus (maybe permanent) from Instagram and TikTok.
Joining a local dance or art group—something creative and connecting.
Donating to Planned Parenthood, the LA fires, and tipping local workers like I’m the MF-ing tooth fairy.
Canceling my Prime and Audible memberships (META may be next).
Calling my representatives and urging them to do more (PLEASE DO THIS —no matter what state you live in or if you think your reps will listen).
Learning—so much learning.
Not too difficult.
I did have major reservations about leaving social media, but after roughly eight and a half minutes of thinking about it, I realized how unhealthy it’s been. It’s past time to pull back. And I can get my news from a handful of places.
Here are some off-social media sources of news and education to explore:
Sharon McMahon (Substack/Podcast — America’s government teacher)
Heather Cox Richardson (Substack/Podcast—American history professor)
Dan Rather (Substack—old-school, honest journalism)
Trevor Noah (Podcast—mindful conversations about current topics)
We are witnessing history. How will you stay informed without feeling overwhelmed?
And more importantly, what can we actually do to protect our democracy—not just for ourselves, but for our kids?
🌟 P.S. Let me leave you with some hope 🌟
Community and connections will always win. It’s historic.
I’m currently listening to Robert Putnam’s The Upswing: How America Came Together a Century Ago and How We Can Do It Again.
It’s a deep dive into America’s past, showing how we once went from an every person for themselves mindset to a more connected, cooperative society—only to backslide into individualism again somewhere in the ’60s.
But here’s the good news: history tells us we can turn things around. If we’ve done it before, we can do it again.
It’s EXACTLY what I need right now. What WE need right now.
👉 Here are 4 low-effort things we can do today:
1. Speak with your money.
Harvard Business Review reports that women drive the world economy, which I totally believe. Especially moms—we have serious spending power because we make purchases for the entire family.
2. Call your representatives regularly.
Stay informed on issues (mindfully), and let your reps know how you feel. We can voice our concerns while remaining respectful, AND you have the right to speak out even if your rep is from a different party.
Find your Senate and state representatives here: Congress.gov
3. Educate yourself on whatever frustrates (infuriates?) you.
If you’re troubled by new immigration policies or the confirmation hearings, do your research. Let’s not spend our energy just criticizing. Instead, let’s get really good at talking about what matters to us.
It may help you determine what you and others can do to help.
4. Connect with your community (this might require the most effort).
Join a class or group—I know, that might sound dreadful, but if you listen to this hopeful podcast episode of Trevor Noah’s, you’ll quickly see why it’s important. (Hint: this is where I discovered Robert Putnam.)
🌟 If you want to join me in these micro-movements, let’s join forces. 🌟
