How To Get Your Family To Clean The House
TIRED OF PICKING UP AFTER YOUR FAMILY AROUND THE CLOCK?
You’re not alone. Even if our kids have chores (paid or unpaid), they’re usually for the larger jobs leaving the smaller, often invisible work for mom.
But guess what? I have a straightforward fix that also happens to be one of the most powerful tools in your parenting kit.
In ten minutes a day, you can reduce your stress, get your house picked up, and connect with your family. Before you ask, yes, you can do this. It doesn’t require fancy chore charts, reward systems, or major management. All you need is a plan, consistency, and a timer.
Most of us agree that a messy home or an imbalanced workload frustrates us and often pushes us to the edge. While we’re ready for lasting change, we need to understand why it’s happening. The labor division in the average American household needs an overhaul (the pandemic has highlighted this in alarming ways). In addition to our partners not pulling their weight, our kids don’t volunteer to help much either.
For the most part, your family isn’t lazy or rude; they’re simply untrained or unmotivated.
To handle the extra work, you likely do one (or all?) of these:
✓ Ignore it and accept a messy home.
✓ Do the work for them and feel resentment.
✓ Police your family to get the jobs done, leaving everyone resentful.
All three options only add to your stress and frustration, so let’s talk about a fourth option: THE 10-MINUTE TIDY.
With teenagers, I’ve tried dozens of ways to engage my kids in chores desperate for help, and none of them stuck. They were too complicated, required too much management, or simply didn’t work. Drawing from my love of incremental progress, I created a daily, non-negotiable cleaning time for EVERYONE.
Here’s how you can get your family to clean the house:
⓵ TAKE THE THINKING OUT OF IT.
Create a master to-do list of quick, simple chores they can either choose from or be assigned.
⓶ SET EXPECTATIONS.
Pick a time and place your family meets daily (we meet in the kitchen at 7 pm).
⓷ MAKE IT STICK.
Don’t skip a day unless absolutely necessary (reduce the time or have them do easier jobs, if you must, but aim for at least 6 days a week).
And if you REALLY want to create a new habit for your family, reward and celebrate your wins.
Every week or so, I surprise my kids with their favorite drink, food, or maybe extra screen time. It’s so important to acknowledge their progress, even if they complain the entire time.
Hint: Keep the rewards random and unexpected, but the appreciation for showing up and contributing to the household constant. Studies show rewarding kids is crucial to creating successful habits (they work for adults, too!)Make the most of YOUR 10 minute tidy by waiting to do jobs you’d normally do during the day.
Recently I’ve taken to folding clothes during my 10 minutes, which prompts me to run a load earlier in the day, so it’s dry and ready to go at 7 pm. You guys, I’ve NEVER been so caught up with my laundry (for real… this has been a game-changer!)
Seeing my family work together, no matter the complaints or eye-rolls, makes me feel like I’m doing a good job at parenting. They help with their laundry, vacuum the floors, and, yes, pick up the junk they’ve strung around the house.
And, as a bonus, when I walk past a pair of Vans flung by the front door, I let go of the need to pick them up because I know they’ll be put away by bedtime.
You’re 10 minutes away from creating a more harmonious home while teaching your kids life-long skills (show up, do the work, and contribute).
OTHER POPULAR ARTICLES:
The Accidental Martyr (On being selfish, raising strong daughters, and using your voice)
Kids + Chores = Happiness (Do the work now and your future self will thank you)
6 Reasons Your Kids Don't Help Around The House (Psychology Today Link)
